Parents mental health
Whether it’s your first or your 15th, becoming a parent is an incredible experience but it’s no secret that becoming a parent is hard, really hard! It’s physically and emotionally exhausting, stressful, a steep learning curve and there isn’t much of a let up, especially in those early years.
All of this, coupled with the change in routine, sleep deprivation, pressure and general worries can take a toll on our mental health.
In fact according to the Mental Health Foundation, 10-15% of new parents suffer from mild anxiety and depression and 3% suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Many more struggle generally with their mental health, without a diagnosis.
Becoming a parent is wonderful but it’s important we recognise that it’s not all brilliant so that we can prepare for those tough times, recognise the signs and put measures in place to support each other.
What are the common signs of a struggling parent?
First off we need to make it clear that a struggling parent isn’t a failing parent, everyone struggles from time to time, it’s completely normal. However, knowing what the signs are can be really helpful.
New parents might feel:
• Feel overwhelmed
• Feel hopeless
• Cry uncontrollably
• Feel anger, irritability, and frustration
• Have intrusive thoughts – Often around harming yourself or your child. Again, this is very common.
• Experience self-doubt or low self-esteem
• Feel completely exhausted
Also these signs are all completely normal but if it becomes too much to handle, persistent or you don’t feel like you have any support around you then don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
WELLBEING TIPS FOR NEW PARENTS
1. IT’S OK TO HAVE A CRY!
2. TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME
Many new parents look 6 or even 12 months into the future and wonder what it will be like and will their child be XY or Z. You might look at parents of slightly older children and wonder whether your child will be doing what they do.
In those early days you have very little control over that and you have no control at all over yesterday. Instead focus on the here and now and take it one day at a time – what can you do to make today as good as possible?
3. WRITE A QUICK-FIRE CARE-PLAN
The cinema or a shopping spree may not be realistic, at least at first. So write a list of quick-fire activities that improve your wellbeing. It might be a shower, a walk, a coffee with a friend or maybe a parent support group.
4. BUILD A SUPPORT NETWORK AROUND YOU AND USE IT
A lot of people offer their help to new parents, but those offers are often refused and forgotten about. Take some time to write down who is around you to support you, and what can they help with. It might be family who can watch baby for an hour while you rest, a friend who will take you for a coffee or a neighbour who will cook and deliver a meal for you.
