Should I be talking about mental health?
We all go through hard times, it’s an unfortunate fact of life. And those hard times are going to have an impact on our mental health. That isn’t to say that we will become depressed or suffer from anxiety, it can have an impact without making us ill.
But sometimes things that start small can snowball and become something much bigger. One of the best ways to prevent this is to talk to someone about what’s going on.
This is especially useful when our mind feels cluttered, and we feel overwhelmed with everything that’s going on. By talking about it things suddenly feel easier to understand and deal with and often the answer presents itself in the conversation.
Even if there isn’t something specific going on, just talking about mental health generally makes it a more normal thing to speak about. So on the day that things are going wrong or if someone else overhears and they’re struggling then it’s easier to say something.
Who should I talk to?
The answer to this really depends on what you’re looking to get out of the conversation.
Is it just an opportunity to vent off? Maybe have someone to cry with or you want someone who is going to give it to you straight? Then maybe a trusted friend.
Maybe you’ve been feeling not great for a while and it’s really starting to impact on life, then maybe it’s best to chat with your GP or a therapist.
If that feels like it’s too big of a step then there’s lots of organisations out there. An employee assistance programme is free and confidential. You could try SANE, CALM, Samaritans or Mind without having to give your information.
Mental health first aiders are especially trained to help you explore your thoughts, feelings and what’s going on and then help you to work out what your next steps could be.
Tips for talking about mental health
1. Write it down
Many people find it helpful to write down any thoughts, feelings they’re having or simply what’s going on in life. It doesn’t need to be need or ordered. This can help you to better understand what’s going on and make it much easier to explain to someone else when you choose to talk.
2. Plan ahead
Have a think about how you want this conversation to happen. Maybe you could go for a walk or sit in a café or pub. If you’re in work, would it be helpful to put some time in the diary with the person who want to speak to so you’re not interrupted?
3. Say as much or as little as you want
Some people want to lay everything out on the table, others simply say “I’m really struggling right now” before having a good cry. There’s nothing wrong with either of these. The other person might ask questions but you don’t need to answer these if you don’t want to.
4. Say what you want
Sometimes we are happy to get advice or ideas, other times we just want to be listened to. Maybe it’s a complex issue and you want the opportunity to get it all out but then get some advice. You might even want some tough love. Whatever it is, it helps to communicate this to whoever you’re speaking to.
5. Don’t let a bad experience stop you
Sometimes people might speak to a counsellor, or a doctor and it wasn’t helpful. Or maybe they spoke to a friend who didn’t respond in a helpful manner. Don’t let this put you off trying again with someone else. Everyone has different personalities, approaches and with counselling, different modalities (types) of counselling so someone will be able to help.
Weekly Wellbeing Tip
Does opening up feel scary? Try gradually sharing pieces of what’s going on over time in conversation to break it down into smaller chunks and make a later conversation less daunting.
